Tag: blogging

Romance, And Anxiety

To be brutally honest

And perhaps a little philosophical

Is it possible to be passionately involved in an endeavor and also be calm? Can you challenge yourself to do something new, to strive, to improve, to learn, to risk, but also be tranquil in your soul? Should you expect that?

Maybe if what you’re passionate about is yoga or meditation, and doesn’t include other people’s choices and preferences, there would be total ease. But how often in life are you totally separate from other people’s input and actions? And how often should you be?

woman putting her head down on the desk
Photo by Photo By: Kaboompics.com on Pexels.com

I honestly would like to hear/read your thoughts and experiences about these questions. You may or may not write, but everyone has something they want to do and do well.

Since I hope you’ll share your thoughts, I’ll start with my experience.

I started writing (romance) seriously, with the intent to publish, three and a half years ago. By the fourth anniversary of my first book, I will have written twelve books. It’s simple math, but I’m still surprised by it–that’s an average of three books a year. And that doesn’t count the short stories and bonus epilogues, etc. that are free (one for every book, plus a few more stories and writing experiments that I offer here on my site).

Now, I haven’t published all of those twelve books, only eight as of this week. A ninth is free (available to you on the welcome page). The tenth, I’m holding in reserve until I’ve written a few more books in that series (my foray into historical fantasy romance). Another regency romance (11) is halfway written, and the twelfth (regency romance) is conceptualized but not written yet. (I anticipate a May release).

If I continue at the pace I’ve been writing, I may sneak in one more this year (another in the fantasy romance series). And I have been invited to write two shorter novellas for anthologies, so add those to the math.

I love writing these romances! I feel invigorated and excited, engaged and stretched. I have felt alive in a whole new way. And I love to finish a book and share it with you. It is such a thrill, such a sense of accomplishment. I can’t stop writing (and writing romance). On one level, writing is incredibly rewarding.

On another level, writing is agonizing. I want to constantly improve my skill. I don’t want to write the same thing again and again, so I push myself with new ideas, new forms, tighter prose, better characterization, plotting, pacing. And on and on.

And I won’t even discuss promoting/marketing here.

Because I love romance. I love writing.

But I admit that it brings with it an almost constant low-grade anxiety.

Is this a bad thing? Is it normal? (I think it is. You tell me what you think). I’m just not sure we’re meant to glide easily through life, as tempting as that may sound.

My questions are: Can we care deeply, can we challenge ourselves to improve, can we try something new, can we accomplish a goal, can we share our work without an emotional investment? An emotional cost?

Now in a perfect world, and in a perfect post, I would have a resolution here. A tight, satisfying take-away for you.

I don’t.

I just have a few more questions for you, and me, to consider. Are all forms of anxiety bad? Should we replace ‘anxiety’ with a different word when we’re speaking of any creative challenge? What word?

And more questions. How do you view your anxiety (or perhaps striving, anticipation, frisson, eustress, desire)? How do you make it motivational, not daunting? Is it a positive force in your life? Can it be?

Romance and anxiety, are they two sides of the same coin?

Unfiltered

Photo by Nijwam Swargiary on Unsplash

Recently, I had an opportunity to guest blog for RWSL. So for today, you get a little bit of writing technique advice. Don’t close down yet. It’s not an English class. This might help in your own writing or speaking or social posts. So here goes.

In my writing group, we’ve been talking about filters. It’s made me hyper-sensitive to words and phrases that separate my readers from my action. Editing these filters has strengthened my writing. So let’s talk about filtering here.

The phrase ‘filtering’ comes from Writing Fiction by Janet Burroway. She writes, “you step back and ask readers to step back and observe the observer—to look at [the character] rather than through the character—you start to tell-not-show and rip us briefly out of the scene.” Filters are words that come between our readers and our character’s point of view or their experience. They pull the reader out of the action.

Once you’ve become aware, you’ll begin to notice filters everywhere, and I guarantee that you’ll want to banish them as much as possible from your writing. Here is an example (filters in bold). First draft and edited excerpt from The Lies We Tell by Gigi Lynn:

The rocking of the carriage and the bumps in the road kept me holding onto my seat. I thought miserably about the day. I looked down at the boy’s clothes I wore, now much worse for the drying mud. I asked myself what did I have to show for my unladylike defiance and descent into immodesty?

I found a maid I no longer wanted but lost a dog I did. I had no papers, and I had no more information about what Hugh was doing. I asked myself, what did all of this have to do with me? I had never been involved in Hugh’s vices. I told myself shouldn’t feel responsible. I knew I wasn’t equipped to expose smugglers or fight women who ran brothels. I had been taught to be a lady. I realized that I had no other skills. What a muddle I had made of things I thought in discouragement.

The rocking of the carriage and the bumps in the road kept me holding onto my seat. What a miserable day. My boy’s clothes stuck to me, more disreputable for the mud. And what did I have to show for my unladylike defiance and descent into immodesty?

I found a maid I no longer wanted but lost a dog I did. I had no papers and no more information about what Hugh was doing. What did all of this have to do with me? I had never been involved in Hugh’s vices. I wasn’t responsible. I wasn’t equipped to expose smugglers or fight women who ran brothels. I was taught to be a lady. I had no other skills. What a muddle I had made of things.

When we take out the words that come before the action, our readers will experience the action and emotions more immediately. They will be in the story, living what happens along with the character.

Now that you’ve seen what a difference filtering makes, you’ll start noticing phrases like:

I watched as— She realized that— He noticed— He saw that— I felt like— She knew— I decided right then that— It seemed— He wondered— She thought— She heard— It sounded like— There are others, but you get the idea.

It’s our goal to have readers enter our stories. We want them to feel what our characters feel. We want them to experience the action with our character, not through our character. If we remove most of the filters from our writing, our readers will more vividly experience every action and emotion in our stories. so let’s write unfiltered!

“Gigi Lynn grew up in Las Vegas, devouring romance novels like they were candy. She studied and later taught English literature and writing—and continued to read romance novels voraciously. She raised seven children and read to them every day—and often read romance novels for fun or escape. She always said she would write one day. One day is now! She recently published two regency romance novels and a novella. Another novella will go live mid-October 2021.

Blogging Block

Which, of course, is just another name for writer’s block. There are so many blogs out there. It is easy to think/say, “What do I have to say? What do I have to say weekly? And the ever discouraging, why would anyone read it?”

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Going Back; Moving Forward


Oedipe et Antigone By Eugène-Jean Damery
(1823-1853) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

For the month of November, I’ll be re-entering the High School English classroom. (As a substitute teacher, this time). Because I’ll be there for longer than a day or two; and because I’m doing this for a friend who cares deeply about his students and their education (and don’t we wish we could say this of every teacher?); and because if I’m going to do something, I might as well do it well; I am reading/re-reading all the of homework assignments for the eight classes.

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What I Learned From a High School Psychology Assignment

I think I was a Junior in high school when I took the required Psychology class. For one assignment, we were asked to write a paper or create a project on a psychological subject of our choice. (Looking back, I realize this is a very vague assignment. I’m not sure what the desired learning outcome was supposed to be, but that was the assignment). The teacher encouraged us to be creative. But I think everyone in the class just started writing a paper. By the time we were Juniors, we knew how to do that. We didn’t like it, but we knew how.

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