Category: Just thinking about life (Page 2 of 2)

Who’s the best lyricist?

More than a year ago, two of our sons started a discussion about singer-songwriters. Nathan believes Stevie Wonder is the best. Jordan doesn’t agree. He cited Bob Dylan and James Taylor, and all folk/country artists as contenders.

1967 Nationaal Archief

In defense, Nate quoted Elton John and Bob Dylan, talking about Stevie Wonder, crediting him with changing music for all time. Our “Stevie Wonder supporters” said that in “centuries to come” people will talk about Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.

1963 USIA

The discussion has spread over the year. We had a recent extended family What’sApp exchange where Trevor joined the discussion as another Stevie Wonder advocate. Jordan added Paul Simon and The Beach Boys to his list. And then he pulled out the Dolly Parton argument (She has written 3000 songs, released 956 of them, 25 of them #1 songs).

Brendan joined the discussion, supporting Jordan. “He (Stevie) is fine, but he’s no Mozart.” Natalie lightened the tone of the discussion by suggesting we should consider Justin Beiber (with special reference to these lyrics: Baby, baby, baby, oh).

Trevor made a spreadsheet comparing Stevie, Dolly, Bob Dylan, James Taylor, and Paul McCartney. (Yes. He made a spreadsheet). And Nate said this (and I’m so proud of his use of descriptive language), “Stevie Wonder’s albums . . . are just an inimitable artistic achievement. It’s the Sistine chapel of American popular music.”

At Sunday dinner this week, Devon joined the discussion, also as a Stevie Wonder fan, and we spent the final hour or so of our time together listening to some of his music. (Jordan wasn’t present, so no one complained).

I’m not a musician, but I do believe lyricists are today’s poets, and when they write well, it’s an unparalleled delight. As a budding writer, I am in awe at the power and beauty of well-written lyrics. So I’m enjoying the conversation, and the passion behind it.

And I’m interested. What does your family discuss–over extended time and with real fervor?

And a last question (okay 2 questions), who is your favorite lyricist? And what is your vote for the best song lyrics? Those lyrics that just speak beauty/power to you?

What Happens At Your Table?

In my mind, there is an ideal family meal. The details aren’t detailed and clear, but I always hope a nice family meal will build or strengthen or heal–that during our time together, our conversation will bring us closer. Is it the same for you? Do you plan, shop, and cook with the hopes that something truly special and memorable will happen when everyone sits down to eat? Does it, at least sometimes, happen for you?

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I’ve been thinking about family meals, mine and the ideal (which are not always the same). I’ve been thinking, not just about Thanksgiving, but everyday meals too. It’s on my mind because we are in Texas this Thanksgiving, helping our son and his family move. I don’t know yet what we’ll do for that important meal, but I’m excited to spend it with this family that we will see less often–and have around our table less often, now that they will be living at such distance.

But our indefinite plans for Thanksgiving made me think about family meals, why they are important to me and what I always hope happens at our family meals. And that made me remember some movie family meal scenes that I love. And for some reason, I do love a good family meal scene.

SANDRA BULLOCK, WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING, 1995 - Stock Image

I’ll share a few examples. In “While You Were Sleeping” Peter’s family gathers for a ‘late’ Christmas dinner. The cross talk, the family shorthand, the teasing, good-natured arguing, prying–the love–it’s all there. I love it. “These potatoes are so creamy . . . Mary mashed them.” And “Would you want to see Dustin Hoffman save the Alamo?” No one is really listening to each other, but the important things get communicated.

Another meal scene I think is a masterpiece is the breakfast scene at the end of “Moonstruck.” In fact, I watch the whole movie and then I rewind and watch the breakfast scene again. I love the moments when no one is speaking, but everyone is looking at each other. Their looks say it all. “What is going on? Can you believe this? What now? Does he/she know? Secrets, betrayal, accusation, forgiveness, broken engagement, proposal, but most of all love.

Moonstruck High Resolution Stock Photography and Images - Alamy

My appreciation for these scenes is a paradox. I love them because they feel familiar and real, and I love them because they are not like anything I’ve experienced, and they are hilarious. I know a screenwriter wrote those scenes, a director and the actors interpreted. Someone lit them; someone filmed, and many more people had a part in the creation of those few moments that invite us into the intimacy of someone else’s family meal.

I’d like to have y’all come and share a family meal with me. Impossible I know, but I would love it. And I’d love a family meal scene in more books that I read. Is it possible to write one that captures the idiosyncrasies and rhythms and unique language of a family? Have you read a book with an engaging family meal scene? If you have, I want the title/author. And I’d love to read your experience around your table.

How do you feel about Halloween?

Photo by Natalie Nelson on October 13, 2020. Image may contain: 1 person, standing and outdoor.
Photo @cheznousimages or cheznousimages.com

Ghosts? Ghouls? Witches? Demons? Scary movies? Candy and more candy? Does that sound fun to you?

How about orange, black, purple and neon green? That’s enough to give anyone nightmares, although I suppose that’s the point.

In case you haven’t guessed yet, I’ve never been a fan of this particular holiday.

Along with the above mentioned highlights of the season, there is what for me was always a mad scramble to make costumes for my multitude of children. And my children never wanted to be a ghost or a witch. Some of the random, unique costumes in our family history include: Paul Bunyon (we were reading a book), Mona Lisa (complete with frame), a toilet (candy went into the bowl), and as weird as it sounds, Ghengis Khan. I’m pretty sure our neighbors didn’t always recognize what they were seeing.

We used what we had and needed a lot of creativity. Okay, looking back I kind of liked this part of Halloween. We made some good family memories creating our children’s vision from what we had around the house. However, I do remember being especially frustrated because the day before Halloween, the weather would turn, and the costumes would be covered with coats.

Photo by Natalie Nelson on October 13, 2020. Image may contain: 5 people, people standing and child.
Photo @cheznousimages or cheznousimages.com

One year I made the mistake of sewing a Legolas costume for our youngest son, who was six at the time. You must understand that we are one of those zealous Lord of the Rings fan families. We are passionate about the book and the movie, and I got a little carried away. I researched costumes from the movies and tried to be as authentic as my limited funds and time would allow, even down to sewing the leaf motif on the hem of the tunic. Mr. Watson even got into the spirit and made two wood swords and helped me with the bow, arrows and quiver.

Ever after, this particular son thought this detailed and accurate kind of costume was the norm. One year he wanted to be a War of 1812 soldier. I ask you, War of 1812? (which by the way falls right in the Regency period, which is where I’m spending a lot of time these days, but I don’t want to make the clothes. I’ll just mention details from time to time in my books). Poor disappointed Devon. He had to be a WWI bomber pilot that year because someone gave us a leather jacket.

So, if you ask I will probably tell you that this is my least favorite holiday, but while I write I realize that I do like the costumes, the drama, and the imagination of Halloween. I like the misty, brooding, atmospheric mystery of the season.

Photo by Natalie Nelson on October 13, 2020. Image may contain: 2 people.
Photo @cheznousimages or cheznousimages.com

I like some of the literature that comes to mind–notably Frankenstein and the poetry of Edgar Allen Poe. I even binge watched Stranger Things. And this year I’m loving these fabulous eerie photos taken by our very gifted photographer daughter @cheznousimages

Okay, maybe I do like some aspects of Halloween. Just not the candy, more candy, and the colors.

Creativity and Mental Health

What are you doing to stay sane during Covid? I see masses of walkers/joggers, bikers and skateboarders out on the trail behind my home. The roads to and from the canyons in the mountains around us are busier than the freeway during rush hour. It’s always wonderful when the weather improves in the spring and we can comfortably out in nature. But this year, it felt like release from a prison.

I think many people must be finding some sanity in working in their homes and gardens. Every time we go to the local home improvement stores, the parking lots are packed. And my friends have posted some wonderful projects they have completed since the beginning of this virus. There aren’t many things more satisfying than completing a project. I’m pretty excited about some of my own projects. (A confession: sometimes I wonder if my projects are more in the nature of avoidance rather than healthy pastime). Regardless, completing any project can be very exhilarating. There is a definite shot of dopamine when I step back and see a finished work. (Below: my reupholstered chairs for the cabin)

These are effective ways to stay mentally healthy, but there is another way I want to talk about today.

Graham Greene said, “Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.” And he wasn’t in the middle of Covid 19.

Raymond Feist said, “I won’t say that writing is therapy, but for me, the act of writing is therapy. The ability to be productive is good for my mental health. It’s always better for me to be writing than vegetating on some couch.”

Their experience is supported by research.

Ashley Stahl wrote an article in Forbes on the benefits of creativity. She listed five benefits of being creative. It increases happiness, reduces dementia, improves mental health, boosts the immune system, increases intelligence. These are benefits I want, regardless of situation, but they seem especially necessary now.

So for us writers or aspiring writers, this is the time to write more. Not only do we have more time (I will feel terrible if when we are once again involved in life on a wider scale I look back and all I have done is watch Netflix and read brain candy-both enjoyable pastimes, true-but not if that’s all we do), but writing will make us more healthy, more happy, more sane.

So, what are you writing? When? Has your writing schedule changed during covid? What do you do to combat the temptation to procrastinate–when every day is the same and you know you’ll have lots of time tomorrow, how do you motivate yourself to write today?

Alice Walker said, “whenever you are creating beauty around you, you are restoring your own soul.” And Kurt Vonnegut said, “To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow.”

So–Let’s paint something. Sew something. Cook something. Play music or move to music. Build something. Create. But most of all, let’s write something.

Going Back; Moving Forward


Oedipe et Antigone By Eugène-Jean Damery
(1823-1853) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

For the month of November, I’ll be re-entering the High School English classroom. (As a substitute teacher, this time). Because I’ll be there for longer than a day or two; and because I’m doing this for a friend who cares deeply about his students and their education (and don’t we wish we could say this of every teacher?); and because if I’m going to do something, I might as well do it well; I am reading/re-reading all the of homework assignments for the eight classes.

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